Letting Go

 Not everyone is an appropriate match. If there’s someone in your life who makes you feel bad about yourself, doesn’t share any of your interests or values, or is someone that you just don’t mesh well with, it’s perfectly acceptable to put that relationship on the back burner, let it fade altogether, or not develop it in the first place. Even if you were at one time close, people change and grow in different directions. That doesn’t mean there’s something ‘wrong’ with either of you. But if someone in your life is no longer good for you, it’s perfectly acceptable to let them go. Conversely, if you’d like to keep them in your life out of loyalty, albeit in a periphery role, that’s OK, too. However, it would be beneficial to remember not to count on them for support, if they’re not able to give it to you. Only you know if the relationship is worth keeping or not. But it is important to have several people you can count on for support in your life. The more people you have in your life, the more likely you are to have truly supportive relationships with at least one of them. It’s beneficial to be able to regularly add new people to your circle.www.valerymolone.com

Healthy Family Relationship and Stress Relief

A connection to family provides a certain type of social support that you can’t get from other people. Who better than siblings, parents, and other close relatives can reminisce with us about our childhoods, or remember pieces of ourselves we’ve forgotten? This connection to fond memories, support in times of need and near-unconditional love is a unique way that family brings us happiness as well as relief from stress. Unfortunately, with the complexity of these relationships, they're not always easy. Dealing with difficult people is never easy. But while it may be better for your stress level and even improve your health to eliminate strained relationships from your life, it's not always a simple undertaking when the difficult people are relatives. Social support is a great stress reliever, but relationships can also be a major source of stress. The role your family plays in your life, and the health of your family relationships, can really affect your stress levels. Remember, strong family relationships can be a source of strength that you can draw upon in times of stress, and use to expand your enjoyment of the good times you experience in life.  A conflicted family relationship cannot just deprive you of that support, but they can create additional stress that depletes your ability to cope.  You may not be able to completely control the types of relationships you have with your family members--after all, relationships are dynamics that involve more than just one person--but there are many things that you can do to create greater harmony in your relationships, and protect yourself from unnecessary stress and pain.  www.valerymolone.com

Forgiveness Reduces Stress

Forgiveness can be a challenge for several reasons. Sometimes forgiveness can be confused with condoning what someone has done to us:  Even people who understand the distinction between accepting someone's bad behavior as "okay" and accepting that it happened and one must let go of anger to move forward, forgiveness can be difficult because these two are easily confused.

It can be really difficult to accept some things in life, and forgiving someone who has committed unacceptable behavior can be difficult when we are having trouble letting go of anger about the events and accepting what happened to us.

Forgiving is not about forgetting, it is about not bringing the offense up to you in negative ways. Forgiving is simply letting go of what you’re holding against yourself so that you can move on with yourself. Forgiveness is a choice that takes courage and strength, and it gives us the opportunity to become an overcomer rather than remaining a victim of our own contempt. Failing to forgive yourself will put blinders on your spiritual eyesight quickly. It will cause to you to see things through the eyes of guilt, shame and condemnation. It will ruin your faith, and cause you to go blind spiritually. www.valerymolone.com

Stress relievers you may not have thought of

September 12, 2016

The popular stress-management strategies, such as meditation, breathing exercises, journaling and other well-known tips. Their benefits are proven, and they're popular strategies for a reason. However, they're not the only ways to relieve stress.

These are some of stress management techniques that I enjoy just as much and are helpful for the people who use them.

Playing with Pets

For those who love animals, there's a special peaceful energy that comes from taking five or ten minutes to caress a cat or love up a dog. Other types of pets can be great "stress-management tools" as well: Fish, rabbits, and even rats can provide their own soothing benefits.  The best pets provide unconditional love and entertainment and stay in our hearts as they help us remember to stay in the moment.

Gardening

• Gardening is physical work. Activities such as digging, planting, raking, pruning, weeding, and harvesting provide a physical outlet for the tension we store in our bodies. There’s nothing like a little manual labor to relieve stress.
• Gardening exposes you to sunlight and fresh air, both proven mood boosters. It allows you to soak up the vitamin D as well as the light that triggers a happy response in the brain.
• Anyone who has spent hours weeding the garden understands the meditative quality of the task. Gardening is often repetitive and focused. It offers a quiet space for contemplation. You may feel clearer after time spent in the garden, even if you haven’t been thinking about anything of importance. It allows a space for your brain to take a break.
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Owning a pet can reduce stress

When thinking of ways to reduce stress in life, usually techniques like meditation, yoga and journaling come to mind. These are great techniques, to be sure. But getting a new best friend can also have many stress relieving and health benefits. While human friends provide great social support and come with some fabulous benefits, but benefits of furry friends: cats and dogs can help reduce some stress from your life!

Pets Can Improve Your Mood

For those who love animals, it’s virtually impossible to stay in a bad mood when a pair of loving puppy eyes meets yours, or when a super-soft cat rubs up against your hand. Research supports the mood-enhancing benefits of pets. A recent study found that men with AIDS were less likely to suffer from depression if they owned a pet.

Pets Control Blood Pressure Better Than Drugs

Yes, it’s true. While ACE-inhibiting drugs can generally reduce blood pressure, they aren’t as effective on controlling spikes in blood pressure due to stress and tension. However, in a study on pets and blood pressure, groups of hypertensive New York stockbrokers who got dogs or cats were found to have lower blood pressure and heart rates than those who didn’t get pets.

Pets Encourage You To Get Out And Exercise

Whether we walk our dogs because they need it, or are more likely to enjoy a walk when we have companionship, dog owners do spend more time walking than non-pet owners.

Pets Can Help With Social Support

When we’re out walking, having a dog with us can make us more approachable and give people a reason to stop and talk, thereby increasing the number of people we meet, giving us an opportunity to increase our network of friends.

Pets Can Reduce Stress—Sometimes More Than People

While we all know the power of talking about your problems with a good friend who’s also a good listener, research shows that spending time with a pet may be even better! One study showed that, when conducting a task that’s stressful, people actually experienced less stress when their pets were with them than when a supportive friend or even their spouse was present!

Natural Stress Relief

There are so may ways we can relief stress, the most comment stress relief method that we always talk about is exercising, mediating, yoga, getting massage, etc. but there are some natural ways that we can do to eliminate stress from our lives with out putting to much effort.

•       Put some lavender flower in your office this herb has a soothing scent that can lower your heart rate and blood pressure, both of which can help you relax. Put dried lavender in a vase near your bed or slather on moisturizer infused with lavender.

•       Eat strawberries dipped in dark chocolate. The vitamin C in the berries can fight body-damaging free radicals and the dark chocolate may help reduce stress hormones like cortisol.

•       Take a bath Add lavender bath oils or aromatherapy candles

•       Drink one cup of green tea everyday. It is loaded with antioxidants and nutrients that have powerful effects on the body. This includes improved brain function, fat loss, a lower risk of cancer and many other incredible benefits.

•       Swiss Chard, the magnesium in Swiss chard and other leafy veggies helps balance the body’s stress hormone, cortisol.

•       Fatty fish, the heart- healthy omega-3 fats in fish such as salmon, sardines and tuna manage adrenaline levels to help keep you calm, cool and collected.

•       Peanut butter may indeed contain fat, but 30% of your daily calories should come from healthy fats, for which peanut butter is a great choice. The nutty spread is also a good way to get protein, fiber and vitamin E. The same goes for whole peanuts or nuts such as almonds and walnuts-they’re a great way to get your daily dose of healthy fat.

•       Hot cocoa, a cup of hot cocoa made with low fat or nonfat milk is a wonderful way to satisfy a chocolate craving, get a dose of vitamin D and help meet the recommended daily servings of dairy. The milk also contains hunger-fighting protein, which helps keep people satisfied until the next meal.

Forgiveness Reduces Stress

Forgiveness can be a challenge for several reasons. Sometimes forgiveness can be confused with condoning what someone has done to us:  Even people who understand the distinction between accepting someone's bad behavior as "okay" and accepting that it happened and one must let go of anger to move forward, forgiveness can be difficult because these two are easily confused.

It can be really difficult to accept some things in life, and forgiving someone who has committed unacceptable behavior can be difficult when we are having trouble letting go of anger about the events and accepting what happened to us.

Forgiving is not about forgetting, it is about not bringing the offense up to you in negative ways. Forgiving is simply letting go of what you’re holding against yourself so that you can move on with yourself. Forgiveness is a choice that takes courage and strength, and it gives us the opportunity to become an overcomer rather than remaining a victim of our own contempt. Failing to forgive yourself will put blinders on your spiritual eyesight quickly. It will cause to you to see things through the eyes of guilt, shame and condemnation. It will ruin your faith, and cause you to go blind spiritually.

www.valerymolone.com