How To Manage Stress and Anger

Anger management and stress management work in similar ways. This is partly because anger and stress have a similar makeup, in that they both have a psychological component. They can both affect us in very negative ways and that is why it is important to understand their relationship. Anger is a basic human emotion that is experienced by all people. Typically triggered by an emotional hurt, anger is usually experienced as an unpleasant feeling that occurs when we think we have been injured, mistreated, opposed in our long-held views, or when we are faced with obstacles that keep us from attaining personal goals. Anger can be constructive or destructive. When well managed, anger or annoyance has very few detrimental health or interpersonal consequences. At its roots, anger is a signal to you that something in your environment isn’t right. It captures your attention and motivates you to take action to correct that wrong thing. How you end up handling the anger signal has very important consequences for your overall health and welfare, however when you express anger, your actions trigger others to become defensive and angry too. Blood pressures rises and stress hormones flow. Violence can ensue. You may develop a reputation as a dangerous ‘loose cannon’ that no one wants to be around.

Anything that poses a challenge or a threat to our well-being is a stress. Some stresses get you going and they are good for you – without any stress at all many say our lives would be boring and would probably feel pointless. However, when the stresses undermine both our mental and physical health they are bad. When people feel stressed by something going on around them, their bodies react by releasing chemicals into the blood. These chemicals give people more energy to be angry or stress.

In order to begin managing the negative effects of stress and anger, we need to look at how they affect our lives. Stress can lead to anger and, likewise, anger can lead to stress. Neither is healthy, but we shouldn’t try to eliminate them, instead attempt to control them by learning positive strategies.

Stress can affect both your body and your mind. People under large amounts of stress can become tired, sick, and unable to concentrate or think clearly. Sometimes, they even suffer mental breakdowns. So how can we manage anger and stress?

It’s always a good idea to think before you speak. In the heat of the moment, it’s easy to say something you’ll later regret. Once you’re calm, express your anger…. Simply put, cognitive restructuring means changing the way you think. When you’re angry, your thinking can get overly dramatic. When something goes wrong, you might tell yourself, “Everything’s ruined!” With cognitive restructuring, you replace those kinds of thoughts with more reasonable ones. You might tell yourself instead, “This is frustrating, but it’s not the end of the world.”

When you are angry, the LAST thing you need to do is to stay engaged in the situation that is making you mad–all that does is escalate your anger. It is critically important that at this point you do NOT try to deal with the situation that is making you angry. You cannot solve a problem in a fit of anger; it will likely just escalate the situation or create a new layer of problems to deal with. You will need to step away from yourself so that you can calm and collect yourself. Once you’ve calmed down, try to see what really happened. A good way to analyze what happened is to imagine that it happened. Looking at the situation as an outsider might help you see the truth. You might more clearly understand where your anger came from, or you may see that your reaction was way out of proportion. Once you’ve stated the problem, you can then consider options for solving it. You may want to jot down several possible options on paper or talk about options with another family member, friend, or co-worker.

Symptoms of stress can take on many forms. Stress may cause physical complaints, such as tension headaches, back pain, indigestion, or heart palpitations. It may appear as cognitive problems, such as poor concentration and indecisiveness. An emotional symptom of stress includes crying, irritability, and edginess. And stress can also show up as negative behaviors. Coping methods to deal with stress like, turning to food, alcohol or drugs often just turns one set of problems into another that can balloon out of control. It’s better to avoid those unhealthy coping mechanisms from the start, and find good ways to keep your stress under control.

These are some ways to reduce stress and anger:

• When people set goals for themselves, they have a positive sense of commitment, and feel they’re in control.
• These are activities that trigger the relaxation response, a physiological change that can help lower your blood pressure, heart rate, breathing rate, oxygen consumption, and stress hormones. You can achieve this with activities such as meditation, guided imagery, yoga, and deep breathing exercises.
• Lie face down on the floor and begin breathing deeply and slowly, with your hands resting under your face. Do this for five minutes.
• Learn to identify and monitor stressors. Come up with an organized plan for handling stressful situations. Be careful not to overgeneralize negative reactions to things.
• Keep a list of the large and little hassles in your day versus the major stressful events in your life. This helps you focus on the fact that you’re keeping track of and managing those as well as you can.
• Learn to just say, “No” occasionally. It won’t hurt other people’s feelings as much as you think and it is simply a method to be more assertive in your own life, to better help you meet your own needs.
• Exercise releases endorphins that allow feeling happy. Exercise can help you eliminate these feelings and give you the energy to tackle daily tasks.
• Doing one thing at a time will make you feel better and less stressed. No matter if it is at work, in school or in your private life. This will make it easier to focus and to do a job of higher quality right away. Rather than having to go back several times and polish and rearrange to get the result you want.
• If you don’t know something; just ask and don’t try to read the other person’s mind. Reading minds is very hard. Misunderstandings will be plentiful if you try to do it. So communicate instead. You’ll have a lot less unnecessary conflicts, negativity and wasting less of you and the other people’s time.

5 habits that make you 80% more productive and energized for the New Year!

You can’t always control the circumstances that life throws your way, but you can control how well you take care of yourself. Taking proper care of your body, soul and mind can keep you in optimum shape for handling stress, which gives you as much resilience as possible to help you manage those uncontrollable things in life.

• Make time for yourself

Taking care of your body on the outside with things such as a spa treatment, having quiet time to read a book, watching your favorite show, for example, can work wonders for your internal state. Don’t overlook the importance of pampering yourself on a regular basis, to feel great about yourself and feel ready to take on the world. Having some down time is important, and hobbies can provide a nice distraction from stress and help you stay in the moment, which is also a great way to relieve tension. I recommend drawing, gardening, meditation, exercising, and cooking, as some great stress relievers, but just about anything you enjoy can work.

If you maintain the attitude that stress is a challenge—rather than a threat, you are better able to handle it. And by keeping your mind sharp, you are more equipped to solve the problems and take on the challenges that life presents. It’s very important to read about something positive, or listen to an audio recording of something you enjoy to sharping your mind. Keeping your emotions bottled up usually leads to an emotional explosion later on. It’s very impotent to take time for yourself listen to your feelings, process them and try to understand them. Consider them messengers that tell you when something is not right with your world. A great way to process emotions is the act of journaling. When you write about your feelings, and potential solutions to your problems, you can reduce stress in your life and even see some health benefits!

• Surround yourself with things that make you happy and smile

Studies on social support show that having one or two close and supportive friends is at least as valuable to emotional health as having a large group of friendly or more shallow friendships. However, having social support from several supportive friends would be the best of both worlds. You probably already know if you’re more comfortable with one good friend or many, but there are some good reasons to have at least a few different friends to fall back on: If you have only one person supporting you through difficult times, you may wear that person out, or feel unsupported if that person is unavailable. It’s better for everyone if you have at least a few people to depend on.

You draw different benefits from different types of people. Having an outgoing friend to party with, a knowledgeable friend to gain information and insights from, and an emphatic friend to be a good listener during tough times, for example, provides a better blend of social support than any one of these people alone could give.

• Your friends can bring out different qualities in one another that benefit all of you. For example, your outgoing friend could bring your shy emphatic friend out of her shell, and the three of you could go out and party together. Plus, your friends can introduce you to more friends, giving you a greater pool of pre-screened potential friends.

Studies show that a sense of belonging is extremely important for emotional health and well being those who have social support but don’t feel a sense of belonging are much more likely to suffer from depression. Between work, family and other obligations, stress is a common part of life. But while it’s something we all deal with from time to time, stress can have a negative impact on your health. Worry and overwork can lead to unhealthy lifestyle habits, which causes more stress, leading to a very harmful cycle for example, to emotional eating, where we eat despite not being hungry but eat because it feels comforting. Simple things like put a pitcher of your family or your dog in your office, keep fresh flower around to take care of its very therapeutically lavender flower seem to be very good for stress relief.

• Eat healthier foods

If you are facing a very tight deadline at work, you might make poor choices about what to eat, relying on sugar and caffeine to get you through the day. Unfortunately, these food choices can create more stress in the long run, as well as other problems.

Drinking Too Much Coffee: When burning the candle at both ends, you may find yourself drinking several cups of coffee through the day to keep yourself going.

Eating The Wrong Foods: Due partially to increased levels of Cortisol, the stress hormone, stressed people tend to crave foods high in fat, sugar, and salt. Many will turn to potato chips, ice cream or other junk foods after a rough day.

Skipping Meals: When you are juggling a dozen things at once, eating a healthy meal often drops down in priorities. You might find yourself skipping breakfast because you’re running late or not eating lunch because there’s just too much on your to-do list.

Mindless Munching: Conversely, stress also makes us prone to eating even when we aren’t hungry.

• Benefits of Exercise and Stress Hormones

As we all know our society has become more health-conscious and there has been an increased focus on the importance of exercise. Many people exercise to control weight and get in a better physical condition to become more healthy or physically attractive, but exercise and stress management are also closely linked. Exercise can be an extremely effective stress reliever for several reasons:

When life’s annoyances or frustrating situations build up, you can feel stressed or experience low-grade anger. More high-energy forms of exercise like boxing, martial arts or weight training can also provide an effective release of these negative emotions, turning these otherwise potentially unhealthy emotions into motivation for increased health and well-being.

Exercise can decrease ‘stress hormones’ like Cortisol, and increase endorphins, your body’s ‘feel-good’ chemicals, giving your mood a natural boost.

Physical activity itself can take your mind off of your problems and either redirect it on the activity at hand or get you into zone state exercise usually involves a change of scenery as well, either taking you to a gym, a dojo, a boxing ring, a park, a scenic mountain, a biking trail or a neighborhood sidewalk, all of which can be pleasant low-stress places.

• Why A Power Nap? Facts on Sleep

While small children typically take naps in the afternoon, our culture generally frowns upon mid-day sleep; however, even in those who get enough sleep but particularly in those who don’t many people experience a natural increase in drowsiness in the afternoon, about 8 hours after waking. And research shows that you can make yourself more alert, reduce stress, and improve cognitive functioning with a nap.

Most experts agree that the body needs 7-9 hours of sleep per day, depending on personal and genetic factors.  Some research shows that 6 hours or less triples your risk of a car accident. (Interestingly, too much sleep–more than 9 hours–can actually be harmful for your health; studies show that those who sleep more than 9 hours per day don’t live as long as their 8-hour-sleep counterparts!

Sleep is cumulative; if you lose sleep one day, you feel it the next. If you miss adequate sleep several days in a row, you build up a ‘sleep deficit’, which impairs the following:

• Reaction time
• Judgment
• Vision
• Information processing

If you liked my article about being more productive and energized for the new year please read “Your Thoughts Can lead you to either success or failure“ 

Do women get more stress than men?

It seems like women are generally busier and more stressed than men, that they juggle more roles and are constantly rushing.

Women, according to the APA survey, tend to experience stress in the form of physical symptoms. They are more likely than men to report stress-related health problems such as hypertension, depression, anxiety, and obesity. For women, the stress is more due to a number of reasons. Some of the reasons as compared to a man, for a married woman it is all about managing her house, taking care of her children and trying to keep her marriage healthy and happy. For an unmarried woman, it is all about taking care of her parents, siblings, and the house and also trying to do well on the work front.

Here are some things to do when you get stress.

Exercise

Write. It may help to write about things that are bothering you. ...

Let your feelings out. Talk, laugh, cry, and express anger when you need to. ...

Do something you enjoy. You may feel that you're too busy to do these things. ...Focus on the present.

Create a chill-out routine

Go outside and take a walk

Find a balance between rest and activity

Plan long weekends

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What is Social Stress?

Social stress is stress that results from relationships with others and a person's social environment. Social stress is often exacerbated when people have less capability of changing their own circumstances. Sources of social stress are multiple and can be generated in almost every area of life. These sources include, but are not limited to, problems with work or earning an income, parenting, education, sex and socialization, immigration status or language, personal physical and psychological health, peer pressure or other causes of social marginalization.  With lower social status often comes a feeling of powerlessness.  The less power a person has to change his own situation and the more demand placed upon him, the more prone he/ or she is to stress.

1. Egoistic suicide, which occurs when an individual is insufficiently integrated within a group and has few social bonds (e.g., an elderly person whose lifetime partner dies and who feels as if there is little reason to go on living.

2. Altruistic suicide, which occurs when an individual identifies with a social group that he or she is willing to sacrifice life for the group

3. Anomic suicide, which occurs during times when society’s norms and values are undergoing upheaval or rapid change so that individual society member may feel a sense of anomie—normlessness—and society’s constraints against Suicide weaken

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Overcoming an eating disorder

Any of a range of psychological disorders characterized by abnormal or disturbed eating habits, such as anorexia nervosa. Recovering from an eating disorder can be difficult but is most definitely possible. If you or someone you know is trying to overcome an eating disorder, you might find that other physical and emotional issues stress can come up during the process. But in the long run, recovery from an eating disorder can lead to a healthier life overall.

Causes of Eating Disorders

Eating Disorders are complex disorders, influenced by a facet of factors. Though the exact cause of eating disorders is unknown, it is generally believed that a combination of biological, psychological, and/or environmental abnormalities contribute to the development of these illnesses.

Examples of biological factors include:

• Irregular hormone functions
• Genetics (the tie between eating disorders and one’s genes is still being heavily researched, but we know that genetics is a part of the story
• Nutritional deficiencies

Examples of psychological factors include:

• Negative body image
• Poor self-esteem
• Emotional stress
• Physical stress
• Low self of esteem
• Low Self image 

Especially with the young generation, with TV advertisement sending a wrong massages. People lose their identity. Identity is actually a result of these choices, past and present. We become what we think is expected of us, not who we really are.  Some times an assumed identity becomes such a part of who we believe we are, it can be very difficult to make real change.

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Why Moms Need Friends For Stress Relief

Motherhood can bring amazing rewards, as any mother will tell you. However, it can bring a good measure of stress, leaving many moms exhausted and even at an increased risk of depression. That’s why self-care for mothers is especially important. And although mothers often think of the need for their children to have healthy social lives, one of the greatest resources a mom has is social support. Because of this, friends and other mothers can be a valuable resource.

Social Support

Social support is important for health and stress relief; it increases resilience, multiplies joy, and softens sorrow.

Sharing Advice

Nobody understands the issues moms face every day like another mother who’s been through the same thing! While all mothers don’t experience all challenges, or experience them in the same way, the wisdom of having been there and the benefit of another mother’s answers can provide terrific solutions and provide reassurance. Moms of younger kids can benefit from the experience of more veteran mothers, and can gain confidence by helping out the more junior moms.

Getting Out There

Sometimes mothers can become so immersed in caretaking that they forget to do the things they enjoy. Other moms can help a mother get out there and enjoy what they enjoy doing!

 Get Together for Play Dates

Meeting for play dates with other mothers and their children can provide positive social interaction for the kids and a nice dose of female bonding for the moms.

Have a Moms Night Out

While it’s fun to get together with the kids, getting together with mother friends one night a month or so can provide a whole different experience. Over a few drinks, the most interesting topics of conversation can arise:

Maintain Variety

Another great benefit of motherhood is that it connects women who would otherwise have little in common, or not even cross paths. Women can really benefit by connecting with other moms who are years younger or older, from a different background, or otherwise different from the friends she would usually seek out.

Help One Another

Moms can even give one another some needed nights out by forming a babysitting co-op. They can help make difficult times easier by bringing dinners to new moms or offering aid in times of crisis. These activities build a sense of community and set a good example for kids, and everyone benefits!www.valerymolone.com

Healthy Family Relationship and Stress Relief

A connection to family provides a certain type of social support that you can’t get from other people. Who better than siblings, parents, and other close relatives can reminisce with us about our childhoods, or remember pieces of ourselves we’ve forgotten? This connection to fond memories, support in times of need and near-unconditional love is a unique way that family brings us happiness as well as relief from stress. Unfortunately, with the complexity of these relationships, they're not always easy. Dealing with difficult people is never easy. But while it may be better for your stress level and even improve your health to eliminate strained relationships from your life, it's not always a simple undertaking when the difficult people are relatives. Social support is a great stress reliever, but relationships can also be a major source of stress. The role your family plays in your life, and the health of your family relationships, can really affect your stress levels. Remember, strong family relationships can be a source of strength that you can draw upon in times of stress, and use to expand your enjoyment of the good times you experience in life.  A conflicted family relationship cannot just deprive you of that support, but they can create additional stress that depletes your ability to cope.  You may not be able to completely control the types of relationships you have with your family members--after all, relationships are dynamics that involve more than just one person--but there are many things that you can do to create greater harmony in your relationships, and protect yourself from unnecessary stress and pain.  www.valerymolone.com

Stress relievers you may not have thought of

September 12, 2016

The popular stress-management strategies, such as meditation, breathing exercises, journaling and other well-known tips. Their benefits are proven, and they're popular strategies for a reason. However, they're not the only ways to relieve stress.

These are some of stress management techniques that I enjoy just as much and are helpful for the people who use them.

Playing with Pets

For those who love animals, there's a special peaceful energy that comes from taking five or ten minutes to caress a cat or love up a dog. Other types of pets can be great "stress-management tools" as well: Fish, rabbits, and even rats can provide their own soothing benefits.  The best pets provide unconditional love and entertainment and stay in our hearts as they help us remember to stay in the moment.

Gardening

• Gardening is physical work. Activities such as digging, planting, raking, pruning, weeding, and harvesting provide a physical outlet for the tension we store in our bodies. There’s nothing like a little manual labor to relieve stress.
• Gardening exposes you to sunlight and fresh air, both proven mood boosters. It allows you to soak up the vitamin D as well as the light that triggers a happy response in the brain.
• Anyone who has spent hours weeding the garden understands the meditative quality of the task. Gardening is often repetitive and focused. It offers a quiet space for contemplation. You may feel clearer after time spent in the garden, even if you haven’t been thinking about anything of importance. It allows a space for your brain to take a break.
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Natural Stress Relief

There are so may ways we can relief stress, the most comment stress relief method that we always talk about is exercising, mediating, yoga, getting massage, etc. but there are some natural ways that we can do to eliminate stress from our lives with out putting to much effort.

•       Put some lavender flower in your office this herb has a soothing scent that can lower your heart rate and blood pressure, both of which can help you relax. Put dried lavender in a vase near your bed or slather on moisturizer infused with lavender.

•       Eat strawberries dipped in dark chocolate. The vitamin C in the berries can fight body-damaging free radicals and the dark chocolate may help reduce stress hormones like cortisol.

•       Take a bath Add lavender bath oils or aromatherapy candles

•       Drink one cup of green tea everyday. It is loaded with antioxidants and nutrients that have powerful effects on the body. This includes improved brain function, fat loss, a lower risk of cancer and many other incredible benefits.

•       Swiss Chard, the magnesium in Swiss chard and other leafy veggies helps balance the body’s stress hormone, cortisol.

•       Fatty fish, the heart- healthy omega-3 fats in fish such as salmon, sardines and tuna manage adrenaline levels to help keep you calm, cool and collected.

•       Peanut butter may indeed contain fat, but 30% of your daily calories should come from healthy fats, for which peanut butter is a great choice. The nutty spread is also a good way to get protein, fiber and vitamin E. The same goes for whole peanuts or nuts such as almonds and walnuts-they’re a great way to get your daily dose of healthy fat.

•       Hot cocoa, a cup of hot cocoa made with low fat or nonfat milk is a wonderful way to satisfy a chocolate craving, get a dose of vitamin D and help meet the recommended daily servings of dairy. The milk also contains hunger-fighting protein, which helps keep people satisfied until the next meal.

Dose spirituality relief stress?

Spirituality is a broad concept with room for many perspectives. In general, it includes a sense of connection to something bigger than ourselves. It typically involves a search for meaning in life. While there are many paths people use to find God, research shows that those who have made the journey find greater relief from stress and enjoy better health and happier lives.

Prayer can help you feel more connected with God, leaving you with a calmer, safer, more grounded feeling that can act as a buffer against stress. It can also bring benefits similar to the benefits of meditation, including lower blood pressure, increased immunity, and more.  Just as there are many different faiths, there are different ways to experience religion within a faith. Some people express their spirituality or in a more personal way, dedicating their lives to God  to becoming a good person. There’s a lot of value in the phrase, ‘When God closes a door, and He opens a window.’ Those who have a greater trust in God, those who are more spiritual have the benefit of seeing stressful situations as tests of strength, or even as valuable lessons from God. This can be a good distinction, as viewing a stressful event as a challenge can make the event itself feel less threatening.

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